The Fourth Trimester: 5 Self-Care Tips for New Moms
The diaper changes, late night and early morning feedings, the constant crying and non-stop worrying…the list goes on. It’s insane! You are a new mom running a million miles per minute and just when you think you have met the point of complete exhaustion you somehow find the inner strength to push through even more. Unfortunately, your body can only perform under such wear and tear conditions for so long. Without support or intentional self-care strategies you will eventually break down. Luckily for you, I have 5 simple tips that will change your postpartum life!
Breathe
My first tip for any new mother is the art of breathing. Notice I said the “art” of breathing and not the “act” of breathing. I used the word art deliberately because breathing is deeper than just air in and air out. Deep, purposeful, diaphragm-filling, stress-relieving breathing is what I am referring to. Breathing is something so natural that we don’t have to think about it to do it. We are not cognizant of our breathing but we should be. Have you ever noticed how during moments of fear or anger your breathing rate increases and while you are relaxed or asleep it slows down? When we apply this understanding to controlling our “breath” we can take a proactive approach to how we react to situations surrounding the frustrations of motherhood.
I will never forget a moment I experienced when I was only about 4 weeks into my motherhood journey. Fatigued, sore, and laden with emotions I wept at the thought that I was not cut out for this whole motherhood gig. I decided to take a shower in hopes that I would step out feeling slightly refreshed and ready to face my crying baby. While the water splashed against my back I raised my hands up and firmly placed my palms on the tiles of the shower wall before me. I opened my mouth and uttered one word. “BREATHE.” I inhaled slowly and deeply, allowing the steamy air to enter my nose, lungs and diaphragm. I paused. Then, I exhaled slowly, controlling the speed in which the air was released through my mouth. I continued to repeat this simple process. I don’t remember exactly how many breaths I took but what I do remember is – what only took a few minutes in that shower felt like hours to me. Moments later, I stepped out of the tub with controlled breathing and a slower heart rate. My thoughts were less cloudy and I was mindful of the moment in which I had reached a breaking point.
For the new mothers of the world I suggest you train yourself on how to recognize when you feel overloaded with frustration, anxiety and, more importantly, how to “breathe” through the moment.
Eat Well
It is no surprise that mothers with small children pour so much of their time and energy into their kids that they often forget to do the most basic things for themselves. Have you ever ran in circles all day only to realize that it is almost bedtime and you still haven’t showered yet? Ewwww! Did you spend the day breastfeeding your little one and then suddenly it hit you — you haven’t eaten any food or drank any water in hours? I was in this same space not very long ago. It happened to me countless times and I often felt guilty and insufficient as a first-time mom. In my inexperienced mind I just knew mothers are supposed to have it all together. Eventually, I learned my child’s cues, developed routines and learned how to prioritize my baby’s needs as well as my own. Don’t worry, if you haven’t yet, you will soon. Trust me.
Eating well and providing your body with the nutrients it needs is vital, regardless of whether or not you are breastfeeding your little one. But if you are breastfeeding please remember that you are burning upwards to five hundred calories a day. In order to sustain the energy you are burning you must take time to eat. In addition to eating nutritious foods, you must drink enough water to allow your body to foster milk production. The more fluids you intake, the better chances you have with increasing your milk supply. So take my advice moms: “Stop what you are doing. Eat. Drink.” A neat trick I soon realized was to eat when my baby feeds. As I breastfed him I would eat a small meal and drink a bottle of water. I lived on cereal, PB&J sandwiches, fruits, and yogurt for almost the first five or six months of my son’s life. It doesn’t have to be a grand meal. Just stock up on your favorite easy-to-make items and it will be smooth sailing from there.
Exercise
Exercising after childbirth is a highly recommended way to get your body back in shape and maintain a healthy lifestyle. It feels so cliche recommending this, but I kid you not, it is an amazing stress reliever. One thing about motherhood is that you never get a “day off” so it is important that you are intentional about how you manage the day-to-day stress of raising a small child. This includes the tools you implement to maintain a healthy mind and body.
Exercising releases chemical endorphins, “feel good” hormones, which gives you a sense of accomplishment and triggers a positive feeling throughout your body. It also boosts your energy levels and allows for better rest at night. These are essential tools to have as a new mother. At this point you must be wondering, “How can I develop an exercise routine now that I have a baby, if I never had one before? Where will I find the time?” Now worries, I got you. Keep in mind, exercising comes in a variety of forms: dancing, running, swimming, weightlifting, walking, and yoga are all examples. But if that is too overwhelming for you then think of exercise in the form of two categories: cardio (aerobic exercise) versus strength-training (weight lifting exercise).
Pick the category that works best for you then from there have fun with it. If weights and muscles terrify you then lean in the direction of cardio workouts. There are tons of downloadable apps, web searches, DVD’s, and even social media pages that will serve as excellent guides for you. All you need is 30 minutes (MAX!) each day. Strap your baby in the stroller and go for a walk. Use a body wrap to swaddle your baby onto your tummy and do some lunges, squats, or dance to music. Roll out your yoga mat and do a guided yoga session on your phone app. Jumprope. Swim in your pool. Whatever works for you. Just move girl! After the birth of my son, I reunited with the pavement and got back to jogging. By the time he was four months old I was participating in my local 5k races again. Get creative on this one and remain consistent. You will see results in no time and most importantly you will feel a whole lot better.
Rest With Your Baby
As a new mother you are overwhelmed with responsibilities and household chores so it is hard not to want to take advantage of your baby’s nap time by getting a few things done, uninterrupted. But ba-by, let me tell you that there is no award for the hardest working mom! Do not overexert yourself throughout the day. Take advantage of your baby’s nap time by resting as well. I struggled with this because as exhausted as I always felt, I never felt “sleepy” at the time my baby was napping. I guess I was not in sync with his naps. I eventually realized that resting encompassed far more than just sleep. Simply laying down and elevating your swollen feet, reading a chapter of a good book, lighting candles and running yourself a warm bath, or just snuggling up beside your baby and enjoying her warmth along with the silence of the house are all great ways to rest with your baby.
Pamper Yourself
This last tip is a fun one! What did you enjoy doing before children came into the picture? What things do you find enjoyable that do not involve your children, spouse, job or your responsibilities dedicated to your household? Don’t be surprised if it’s hard to answer these questions… you’re not alone. Many new mothers are so consumed with selfless acts of motherhood that your own identity can get lost in the sauce. It is important to keep a healthy balance between parenthood, relationships, work and personal life.
Pampering yourself sounds pricey but here’s where you should get creative. Trade those old spa days with a beach day. Was shopping at the mall your vice? Swap retail shopping with bargain shopping at consignment stores or vintage stores. Were mani’s and pedi’s your weakness? Purchase a kit and give yourself a homemade mani-pedi in between the professional one at the salon. Did you enjoy working out with a personal trainer? Download the NIKE Training Club App and try a guided workout with the hundreds of options to choose from. Were you a “foodie” who enjoyed dinner outings with your friends? Scale the weekly dinners down to once a month with the girls instead.
By now you get my point. Children are super expensive. Yeah I know. But rather than cutting out all the joys of life to save money, you should think of fun and creative ways to treat yourself without spending a dime. A day at the beach, a walk through the park, a picnic in your backyard, soaking in your bathtub with candles and music, a massage from your spouse, or applying a full face of makeup and lashes just for the hell of it will not only help you feel better about yourself but will help you appreciate the joy of motherhood because you are taking time to meet your own needs and not just the needs of your children.
In all honesty, the days and weeks after childbirth are completely challenging but if you apply these tips you are more likely to enjoy the beauty of motherhood during the fourth trimester. Remember to breathe, eat well, exercise, rest with your baby, and pamper yourself. If you are not at your best then how can you pour your best into your baby?
I’d love to know “what strategies helped you after childbirth?” Leave a comment below.
Sincerely,
XOXO Sophie
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